Fighting Temptation
by XRachX
Summary: CarterAbby Early season 11. When things take a turn for the worst can temptation be fought and love accomplished? [Complete]
1. The Begining And The End

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money changed hands. It's called FANfiction for a reason!

A.N: Thanks to ALi and Mel for encouraging me with this. Especially Mel who has been so patient to wait for it. Also this is dedicated to Jess who has forced me into this. I hope your happy and get sending some more Beta work my way! Hope you enjoy it and if you don't well flame away I could use the extra heat to cut the cost of my heating bills.

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No. 

The word swam round in his head, her voice repeating itself over and over until he could stand it no more. Crying out in agony his whole body shook with violent sobs as he slumped onto the white-tiled floor in despair. Not only had he lost his son, he had lost her too. As his tears splashed down onto the shiny tiled surface he cupped his aching head in his strong, weary hands. As the words reverberated around his brain he sat motionless, just letting the pain wash over him, until it had almost devoured him completely. Each time he heard it his head and heart ached a little more. Grief and anger were slowly eating away at him, devouring him slowly, painfully, as if torturing him for being in love. Desperately looking for a way out of his misery, shakily he stood, his vision blurred with tears.

Glancing in the bathroom mirror he caught sight of himself, his hair ruffled, his pale face un-shaven, all in all he looked as terrible as he felt. In a state of blind panic he fumbled through the medicine cupboard, which he had filled when he checked in, until he found something to ease the pain. Downing the whole tub in a fit of rage he followed them with a swig of the half empty vodka bottle lying near by.

As he stumbled out into the hall he knew what was happening, he'd almost been there before and despite knowing how destructive it was he had done it again. This time going one step further.

Stumbling left to right, banging into the walls of the hotel he had decided to use, he was devoid of all feeling. Filled with just a numb sensation he felt on top of the world, he no longer had to hurt. He no longer had to suffer. He could no longer feel at all. Yet he, somehow, felt about as low as anyone could feel. How many others would he hurt with his antics? He'd seen grief tear people apart, grief had torn him apart. Did he really want to inflict that on his friends and family? They'd be better of without me, he sneered to himself, collapsing to the floor. Not even bothering to try and get up he fumbled in his pocket to produce his wallet. Gently he unfolded an old tattered picture which had been kept in there for years. Before falling unconscious he had just enough time to whisper, "I love you", before lying silent once again.

He fought temptation and temptation won.

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	2. The Price Of Repeated Mistakes

_Disclaimer: Same as on original post. Don't own them, no money exchanged hands. It's called FAN fiction for a reason! If it wasn't fan fiction do you think I'd be sat at a computer in rural England writing this!_

_A.N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Sorry these seem like very short chapters but this wasn't originally intended to be posted on here._

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Groggily he opened his eyes, the room around him spinning. Desperately searching to see if he could make anything out of the distorted shapes around him he twisted uncomfortably just catching sight of a drip standing close to his right. Hearing him stirring a doctor dashed across from the left hand side of the room ready to interrogate him to the fullest. It was all he deserved, he'd been

a selfish idiot, and she told him so.

"You selfish idiot! Why did you go and do that? Your lucky Weaver understands, if Romano had still been here you'd already be out of this hospital conscious or not! All that work, all those years, all just thrown away in a stupid, selfish grief stricken instant. If things were that bad you should have talked to someone. Anyone! I was here, so was Luka and Weaver and Debs and even Pratt! We're your friends, we're here to help! Well are you going to answer me John Carter!" shouted Abby so loudly that patients outside were staring and Luka and Debs rushed in.

"What's going on in...?" Luka began before raising his eyebrows at Carter giving him a stern look.

"Do carry on Abby he deserves everything he gets. Weak or not. Just tell me once you're done so I can have my turn," asked Debs in a hollow voice.

None of them could believe Carter had been such a fool. They all cared about him, trusted him and loved him but sometimes love hurts. He had been there for all of them at some stage and now they were going to be there for him. Whether he liked it or not, and if that meant being tough that's what they'd do. He needed to come back down to reality with a good hard bump.

Carter held his hands up in a mock plea and spoke to them in a husky, pleading voice, "Look guys, whatever I've done I'm sorry okay. Can someone just tell me how I got here and why I feel as if Ray has been playing his blasted music in my head for twenty-four hours straight?"

The three glanced at each other before Luka spoke in his deep Croatian voice. There was something about his voice which just made the words he said seem to sink in that little bit deeper.

"You were found in a hotel. Drug overdose mixed with alcohol not a good combination Carter. You of all people should know that, you should especially know it's the slowest way of killing yourself. No one suspected that you were going to jump off the wagon. The hotel manager rang for an ambulance and you just happened to end up here in County. Now if you excuse us, we have some real patients to see."

With that he and Debs strode out of the trauma room, but Luka turned back to add another sentence. "Some one will be through to move him up to the narcotics ward soon enough. Can you squeeze through another bag to help wash his system out, thanks Abby, I know it's not your job but…"

Silently she moved gracefully around the room, not even able to look at him, never stopping until her task was done. The awkward silence remained until she burst out of the room and slumped onto a nearby chair. Her head nestled firmly into her hands. Weaver came to sit on the chair directly behind her.

"He'll get through this Abby. He has done before. I know it's painful but he really needs us to be strong. Now we've you got the shouting over the way you can get on with helping him. He needs you Abby, more than you know and a damn sight more than he'd be willing to let on."

"Has anyone phoned Kem?" she replied mulling over Kerry's words, a slight sense of deja vu falling over her, from the time her mother had turned up unexpectedly.

"Not yet," replied Kerry, "Do you want to or should I?"

"I'll do it." Abby said trying to sounds casual yet professional, it wasn't working but Weaver just played along, she understood that Abby needed time to deal with this.

Abby and Carter had been friends since forever it seemed. He had paid to keep her in med. school. She sponsored him through his rehab. They had once, even, been an item, but despite all that being in the past they still remained close friends. She thought that if Carter needed help coming to terms with the recent events he would have told her. She'd have been there like a shot.

She knew how hard it was to fight temptation.

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	3. Fighting The System

Ripping the drip out of his arm he climbed off the hospital trolley. He couldn't stay here, he wouldn't. He was fine, just a moments relapse. It was nothing. Noticing him walking around Debs dashed in on her way between patients, dodging the hustle and bustle of people rushing around, attempting to save lives.

"What are you doing Carter?" she questioned.

"Going home, what does it look like? I can't stay here Debs. I just can't. It was one stupid moment I'm fine. I don't need to be here. I'll sign what ever stupid damn forms I have to! I know the procedure. So just let me go, okay?" Carter shouted at her, this time his voice didn't rise above the commotion outside.

"You can't do this John. You're not fine. You didn't let me leave when I had just gone through labour and you were right. I had to stay, for my benefit and others. You need help John. So no I wont let you sign the damn forms as you put it." she spoke in a stern, slightly-raised, voice.

A dark-haired man with gold-rimmed spectacles shuffled through the doors ready to transfer Carter up to Narcotics.

"You've wasted you time mate. I'm not going. I'll sort out some plan with Weaver, okay. Will that keep you happy Debs?"

"Fine." she turned to the man standing slightly bemused by the swing doors, "Sorry to have wasted you time, it looks like this patient wont be transferred up stairs today."

"Okay, no trouble at all. Bit of a slow day all in all." replied the man turning on his heel to head back outside into the bustling corridors of the emergency room.

Following him out Debs muttered something to Carter about going to get Weaver.

"Dr. Chen! You're patient in three has just come down from x-ray and you have two more to see in trauma room two and cubicle six." said Dr. Weaver as Chen rushed through the busy corridors, grabbing her patients files on the way.

"Oh and Carter wants to speak to you by the way." Debs told her as she jumped swiftly out of the way of a trolley Luka and Abby were rolling through along with two paramedics.

"Trauma room three." called Kerry, "Okay, thanks Dr. Chen."

A short while later Kerry found Carter sitting reading in the staffroom, waiting to be allowed to leave. Hearing the door creak open he glanced up from the newspaper he was reading, yet not taking a word of it in, and answered the questioning look she had on her face.

"They needed the bed"

"Oh, right. Well I hear you want to leave. Well I can organise a plan for you you'll have to have regular blood and urine tests and someone to keep a close eye at you at home. Also you'll have to carry on going to the meetings, were you still going before the Kem incident?" she asked, still keeping her authority over him.

"Occasionally, not really though."

"You're a good doctor Carter, I don't want to loose you. You're lucky we all understand what you're going through. That's why I have suggested counselling."

"What? Look I'll do everything else you say but I am not going to see some shrink who is going to tell me how I should be living, and how I should be coping." he stood up fiercely in frustration before pacing the room and kicking his locker in rage. Slumping back down in his seat, head in hands, he fought back the anger. "I'm sorry. It's just the side affects."

"I know, I know. Now come on lets sort out this plan for you. No counsellors. I promise." Kerry told him. You have to pick you battles wisely, she though to herself.

For around the next half an hour they sat talking, working out a regime methodically which would enable Carter to still work without going right back to square one.

To fight temptation and loose was one thing, but to not fight at all was another.


	4. Bartering And Weavering

"So that's it. We're agreed? Regular blood and urine samples every week, AA and narcotics meetings everyday for another ninety days, and you need some one to stay with you for a while to keep an eye on you."

"Yelp, sure thing," replied Carter to Kerry, "One thing though. Do I really need baby sitting?"

"It's not baby sitting Carter." answered Kerry, "It's just so you have someone you trust to keep an eye on you, check your doing okay and to be there in case of another relapse. It's just precaution Carter, that's all. You decided who you want to do your tests?"

"Erm, yeah. I'll ask Abby, I know she's a Med. Student now but I'd prefer her to do it." replied Carter wearily rubbing his forehead absentmindedly as the doors to the staffroom swung open. As if on cue Abby walked through, about to head to her locker but stopped abruptly at the sound of her name.

"You want me to go?" she quickly asked Kerry.

"No, no we've just finished. I was wondering if you would carry out the tests for Carter over the next three months?"

"Yeah sure, no problem." Abby answered.

"I think Carter has something to ask you, so I better be off." replied Kerry before making her way back to the ER.

Abby began sifting through things in her locker waiting for Carter to speak. Slowly he stood and leaned his head onto the locker beside her. Glancing into her face he had a flash back off the last few moments before he passed out. Tensing he coughed, diminishing the memory quickly, before speaking.

"Well, as part of my programme I have to be supervised at home as well as work. It's a precaution in case I have another relapse and no-one finds me, so Weaver says, basically she wants someone to check-up on me and be her spy. So, I was wondering, if, you possibly could..."

"You want me to move in with you don't you?" Abby questioned, cutting him off abruptly.

Slightly nervously Carter replied, "Yeah. If that's not too much of a problem? It's just you're my best friend and I don't really have anyone else, but most importantly I trust you and I know it wouldn't be... weird. So will you?"

"Yeah, okay." answered Abby casually shrugging her shoulders, she had been sick of being so apprehensive about everything. Carter was a mate and he needed her help, and that's what she'd give him. No hesitation, no thought, just actions.

"Well I'm free and you're off shift, so will now be okay?" Carter asked deciding to grab the opportunity with both hands. Abby nodded grabbing her belongings and headed out of the now quiet ER.

Deep in the back of his mind that small snippet of memory which had returned earlier, nagged him persistently. Walking casually along West 31st side by side he couldn't help but ponder that tiny memory which held so much significance. Mentally shaking himself he decided to ignore it. He didn't mean what he said, he was semi-conscious, drugged up to the eye balls and drunk, he didn't have a clear mind; it was just a random thing to say in a time of pain.

Yet the picture still remained in his wallet.

So when temptation takes over, does it cause you to be confused or just tell yourself the truth?


	5. Memories

Chapter Five: I Got Sunshine On A Cloudy Day.

Singing sweetly the birds perched on the tree outside, basking in the perfect sunlight. It was only six Am. and considering Kerry had given her the day off to get settled she was awake awfully early. Rubbing her eyes as she meandered into the kitchen she flicked a switch to turn on the radio. Looking around she smiled, she felt at home instantly. Helping herself to a bowl of cereal she shimmied around, letting the music take control of her. For a change she felt extremely care-free, she wasn't even fazed by the thought that this wasn't even her house yet she was treating it as her own. Contradicting herself she thought, well technically this is my home, if only for a few weeks.

Dipping her spoon back into her cereal she danced around happily as one of her favourite songs played over the radio. Nothing could break her out of this cheery mood as she wiggled around in her pyjamas. From the doorway there was a faint laugh and a couple of claps which caused Abby to stop dead in her tracks.

"Oh, do carry on Abby. Great moves!" coughed Carter making his way across the kitchen, mimicking one of Abby's moves, shaking his ass.

Blushing she began to defend herself, "Sorry about that. I didn't realise you were up. I don't normally do that I'm just happy today. The sun is shining and the skies are clear!" She indicated to the flung open window which showed a beautiful day for Chicago. From the moment the words left her lips it was as if someone flipped a switch. The sky became instantly grey and the heavens opened as rain lashed down. Another typical Chicago day!

Carter just laughed as her face fell.

"Ah well," she shrugged, "I need to unpack anyway! So after I'm sorted doing that what do you want to do on this bright lovely Chicago day?" she spoke in such a sarcastic tone that even Carter, who was still half asleep, couldn't miss it.

Carter replied seriously, for a change, "Well I need to go back to the AA meetings. That reminds me, do you still go?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"How long you been sober now?"

"Seventeen years." replied Abby, deep down she wondered why she still went but even deeper down she knew it was for the best. Always recovering never recovered. "I'll take you to mine tonight. You're partially my responsibility now. So how about for the rest of the day?"

"I don't know let's just wing it." he answered smiling cheekily before retreating back to his bedroom to dress.


	6. Raning On Prom Night

Chapter Six: Raining On Prom Night

"You did not."

"I did!"

"I don't believe it. You did not have a perm!"

"I did," insisted Carter persistently, "It was back in high school. I swear they were the fashion, it was I_the/I_ style to have at the prom."

"I don't remember perms on boys being fashionable at my high school." Replied Abby cautiously, eyeing Carter suspiciously over the diner table. Some how they had ended up in this small sixties diner on the outskirts of the city. Outside the grey Chicago rain forced it's way down to the flooded pavements in icy sheets willing to slice anyone who dared venture out into it's territory.

"Yeah, I had it done twice."

"Twice? That meant you thought it looked good the first time!" Abby paused for a moment to catch his reaction but his faced remained composed with his big, cheeky grin spread wide across his face, "I want to see some photos."

He replied, "You can't, I think I burnt them all."

Letting the conversation cease into an easy silence, the kind which can only occur when two people are so comfortable with each other words do not apply, Carter let his eyes wander to the window. Picking out a small raindrop which had landed gently against the window of their booth he followed it's winding trail down the glass, where it snaked amongst the others, accumulating a companion every now and then, tracing it's silent journey with his eyes. It was something he did often as a child on boring days indoors, when that classic Chicago weather had forced them to be locked inside. It was

the one way his mind could escape and run free, dreaming to his hearts content, even if his body couldn't follow suit. Mentally free but physically imprisoned.

Letting out a sigh of relaxation his slumped backwards, leaning his head back into the somehow welcoming plastic-leather of the booth, his eyes fell closed, not through sleep, tiredness or depression but through peace. Abby smiled warmly seeing how relaxed and at ease he was, he seemed a million miles away from the Carter who was dependant on drugs, who had relapsed after a bad stage in life, he seemed like the old Carter. The real Carter. The kind Carter. The compassionate Carter. The funny, willing, helpful, witty Carter she knew and loved.

"Ready to go?" asked Carter abruptly, snapping out of his quiet reflection in an instant.

Smiling Abby gathered up her coat and headed silently outside with Carter. Snapping up the umbrella, with an unusually long handle, that they had brought with them, they crowded together under it's minimal protection from the icy rain. Looking briefly at each other they began to walk, their feet pounding the flooded pavement's of Chicago as they passed deserted play-parks and crammed cafés, neither bothering to check where they were going. They let their hearts do the walking and their souls do the talking.

Even temptation can take on the most beautiful forms.


	7. Smoke Without Fire?

Chapter Seven: Smoke Without Fire?

"Let's get out of these wet clothes. Two doctors with pneumonia isn't good. County's already under-staffed as it is!" Abby told Carter, hanging up her sopping wet coat, he didn't need reminding of that fact. It was due to him they were understaffed by two doctors today.

Silently he disappeared into the bathroom momentarily before returning, ruffling his hair with a fluffy white towel.

"Here." He flung a towel towards Abby, who caught it neatly in one hand.

"Gawd. It's freezing in here!" she replied rubbing herself with the towel, hopelessly attempting to get warm and dry.

"Well once we're changed I'll put a fire on. It's these big old houses, you can put as much modern day technology and central heating into them as you like but they still be as cold as the day they were made. At least with a fire you can actually crowd round it and get warm." he answered, his back to her as he was already heading upstairs to change into some dry clothes.

A short while later and Abby appeared at the lounge door. For some

unexplainable reason she just stood there watching him throw a few logs onto the open fire. The only sound that could be heard was their light breathing and the crackling of the flames. Shuffling across the room she curled up on one end of the sofa, letting her eye's wander over the dancing flames. They danced and flickered, casting spurts of light in many directions. The colours swirled and twirled round each other. Orange. Yellow. Red. Darting round each other, competing with their fellow flames to see which one could reach the highest. They seemed to lick the very air around them, as if tasting it, I wonder what it must taste like to them, she pondered silently.

Feeling the couch sag at the other end she tore her eyes away from the dancing snake-like flames to rest them upon Carter, lounging casually near her. Quite literally out of no where she asked the question everyone had been dying to know the answer to.

"Why?" she asked simply.

Sighing Carter looked away, still feeling her eyes boring into him. He had been trying so hard to avoid this question but it was inevitable, he had to answer it some time. So it might as well be now.

"I just couldn't cope. I'd lost my son. I'd lost Kem. I'd lost everything. There was nothing else to live for. It was the easiest way really. Old habits die hard I guess."

Pushing her self up slightly, so she was eye level with him, she began to speak, trying to keep the spark of anger inside from travelling into her voice.

"Of course you had other things to live for. Your work. Your friends. Your family. You had all these dreams Carter, about helping others, proving you weren't just some snobby rich kid. Where did they all go? What happened to the bright eyed Carter I knew. Always there with a cheeky grin, full of optimism and determination to prove you could do something, be somebody!"

"I guess he got lost along the way." solemnly replied Carter.

Reaching out a shaking hand, he gently brushed back a lock of silky hair that was cascading over her face. "But you helped find him again."

Tensing Abby sat silent, almost afraid of what could happen next. Looking up into his deep eyes, she felt his body get steadily closer to hers. Their lips touched momentarily before she sprang up hearing a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." She said awkwardly, smoothing out her sweater, fiddling with her hair nervously.

Shaking his head, Carter slumped back onto the cushions, rubbing his eyes. You blew it, he thought, you totally blew it. From out the front he could here muffled voices then the clacking of high heels on the wooden floors of his home. He assumed it was a woman since he knew Abby rarely wore heels and didn't wear any shows around the house. Turning to face the doorway he called through to Abby before finishing abruptly.

"Who is...?" He stopped, not needing to carry on as stood before him in the doorway was a woman who had caused him so much pain in such a short time he could hardly bare to look at her.

"Hey Carter," quietly welcomed Kem, standing beside an uncomfortable looking Abby.

"I'll leave you two alone. You obviously need to talk." Abby said trying to excuse herself from the awkward situation.

"No!" called Carter, rising from his seat. "Kem was just going."

Darting her eye's back up from the floor, Kem stared at Carter in disbelief. "Look I know your angry but we..."

"No we don't. We nothing." he cut her off abruptly. "There is no we any more Kem and there never will be. You made that pretty damn clear!" Abby's eye's darted quickly from one to another, catching their expressions. Carter's was a one of pure anger and pain whilst Kem's was one of sheer shock. "We've been through a lot Kem, but you made it particularly obvious that this wasn't going to work. We couldn't cope going through the ultimate pain together. If we can't survive that our relationship was never going to survive. I'm just glad you made me realise it. Now please go, just go."

With temptation comes impetuousness, or is it just realisation?


	8. Memories and Memorabilia

Chapter Eight: Memories and Memorabilia

Silently Kem left, only briefly speaking to Abby. She knew that making a fuss and fighting for him was never going to work. She had to respect the fact he no longer wanted to be with her, and who could blame him. Shutting the door behind her Abby headed to the kitchen, where Carter had stormed off to moments ago. Lightly she placed a comforting hand onto his shoulder. Turning he pulled her into a warm hug. For what seemed like an eternity they just stood there, Abby allowing Carter to pour out all his emotions onto her in that one meaningful hug. Pushing her away, yet keeping a hand on her shoulder at arms length he gently stroked he face, causing Abby to look down at the ground. Pulling away she leant heavily on the worktop, wondering how to phrase what needed to be said.

"I can't Carter. I just can't. This isn't right. It wouldn't be fair on you or me or Kem. I won't be the rebound girl. I'd just end up hurting you and you may be okay with being hurt, but I wouldn't be okay with hurting you," sighed Abby not daring to look at him.

She felt the pressure of his hand on her shoulder as he spoke. "No Abby. Kem and I wasn't fair on any of us. You will never be the rebound girl because that's what she was. I know I was the one who broke up with you but I hated myself more than you can ever know after that. I didn't love Kem. Not properly."

"You're just saying that. Your all screwed up. You just tried to kill yourself; you don't know what you're saying."

"I know better than I've ever known before. You know the last thing I did before passing out? I pulled a picture from my wallet and whispered the words I love you. It's still there; go on check if you don't believe me!" He slammed his wallet down next to her. "I love you Abby and I'm putting myself on the line right now so whenever you are ready just say. I don't care what the answer is but you needed to know."

Silently he stalked off upstairs. Leaving Abby standing statue-esque, rooted to the very spot. She dared not move for fear that her world would come crashing down around her. She had to know, she had to. Shakily she opened the wallet and found the tattered old photo he'd been talking about. Staring back up at her was a picture of herself taken a few years previous. She was smiling happily at something in the distance behind the camera, she couldn't remember what. Perching on a near by stool for support she let her mind wander. Images flashed back on the table top as if she was watching a movie. It was her and Carter up on the roof.

"I want to marry you!" he yelled.

"You what." she shouted back.

"I want to marry you."

"Your crazy!" she exclaimed.

"Then I'll fit right in!" he yelled over the noise of the whirling helicopter over head. Only he could make a joke like that and be allowed to get away with it.

She could remember every detail as if it were yesterday. He took her out to a fancy restaurant, booked it all so it was just the two of them, made this whole speech then... later that night she found the ring in his jacket pocket. He never asked her, and he never forgave himself for it, but she didn't know that part.

Abby and Carter had been friends since forever it seemed. He had paid to keep her in med. school. She sponsored him through his rehab. They had once, even, been an item, but despite all that being in the past they still remained close friends.

She knew how hard it was to fight temptation, but, to her, this was a whole other ball game.


	9. Caring, Sharing And Bathroom Doors

Chapter Nine: Caring, Sharing and Bathroom Doors.

The next few days passed in a slight awkwardness yet Abby still continued to stay with Carter. She wasn't going to abandon him now, no mater how rough the going would get, she just couldn't. It was late on Thursday evening and despite rather being any where else in the world she was sat in a draughty church hall surrounded by fellow ex-alcoholics, with Carter sitting just to her left.

"Would anyone else like to share?" the main speaker, who was stood at the front of the hall asked.

Steadily Carter raised a hand, "I will."

Abby tried not to look too stunned. Carter never really like this part of the meetings but now here he was willingly getting up in front of a room full of strangers to talk about the fact he had a problem. Well that's what Abby hoped he was going to talk about.

Shuffling slightly nervously Carter coughed before beginning. "Hey. Well some of you might remember me I used to come to this meeting quite regularly but I gradually phased it out. I'm John Carter, and I'm back because I relapsed. That's it really, things got tough and I went seeking a way out and decided a bottle of owners was the right way to do it. I had been clean for about five years until then, now I'm back to square one. I thought life couldn't get any worse but I was wrong, what happened after trying to kill myself was worse than anything I've ever experienced. However I am incredibly lucky as I have great friends and colleagues who were there to pick me back up until I could stand on my own two feet. They helped me realise that no matter how bad things get drugs and alcohol just make it a damn site worse. So now I have been clean for a total of five days, and that's pretty much it."

The meeting carried on for a few minutes longer but Carter was the last one to share for the evening. Driving home together Abby couldn't contain herself.

"I thought you hated sharing?"

"Yeah but it needed to be done."

"Was that for my benefit?"

"Partly" answered Carter keeping his eyes glued to the road ahead. "Right were here." He cut out the engine and clambered out before Abby could question him any further. It had been a long day at work and an even longer night.

Persistently Abby followed him, she had to talk to him, so she wasn't going to let a little thing like him locking himself in the bathroom stand in her way. As soon as they arrived in the house Carter promptly entered the bathroom and he had been locked in there for around half an hour just trying to escape. He would rather have been in any other room but since it was the only room in

the house with a lock on the door it was the only room he could guarantee privacy, or so he though. Pacing around Abby pondered over ways to lure him out so she could talk to him; however none of them seemed to work. Not even the double chocolate and caramel cake she had lied about. Fed up of trying to work out how to tempt him out of there she slumped down, her head resting on the door frame. If the mountain won't come to Mohammed, Mohammed goes to the mountain.

"Look Carter we need to talk." Abby insisted hissing through the pine.

Carter sighed fed up already of listening to her. "No Abby we don't need to talk. It's been a hard day, you need to go and relax and leave me to relax!"

"Okay, okay. Correction, I need to talk, you need to listen and this damned door aren't gunna get it the way. Got it?" She paused for a moment allowing her to collect her thoughts. "Carter I can't deal with this right now. I agreed to help you as a friend because you mean a hell of a lot to me. I can't be any more than that, no matter how much any of us might want that. My life has been on a permanent hold for as long as I can remember. You need to keep going and to move on, you can't do that with me. This just wouldn't work Carter."

The door she was leaning on swung violently open causing Abby to go sprawling across the bathroom floor as she fell through the open doorway, since the door was no longer supporting her.

"How do you know that Abby? Tell me. How do you know it wont work?" Carter almost pleaded with her. Kneeling down to help her up, he gazed deep into her eyes searching for a sign... of anything

From her half lying position on the floor she gazed up into his eyes, the answer was quite simple, or so it seemed. "Because it's just temptation, wanting what you can't have. Just temptation."

But was it? Are temptation and love different, or is temptation just an excuse to avoid love? Or maybe, just maybe, you cannot have one without the other.


	10. A Month On

**A Month Later**

Slamming her locker door shut in frustration, Abby flung her stethoscope around her neck.

"Hey what's wrong with you? Sick of being a resident already?" asked Susan slouching down at the staffroom desk, a pile of charts spread out in front of her. It was 2 Am. on Tuesday night and things in the ER couldn't be going any slower.

"Carter says he still loves me." answered Abby bluntly turning round just in time to catch the astonished look spreading across Susan's face.

"He what?" repeated Susan dumbfounded.

"He still loves me." casually replied Abby.

"What did you tell him?" questioned Susan, still trying to get her head round the fact that after all these years Carter was still in love with Abby, she was beginning to think they were a lost cause – after all it was obvious Abby loved him too.

"I told him that I couldn't."

"Why not?" demanded Susan.

"Because I can't, I don't feel that way." coyly continued Abby.

"You've always been a bad liar Abby, ever since high school. You were always the good polite one and I was always the cheeky liar. You can't deny it, you like him and you always have."

"Like" Abby repeated raising her eyebrows slightly before continuing. "Like not love."

"Same difference." insisted Susan. Deep down Abby knew Susan was right and Susan knew that Abby knew she was right. "It couldn't be more obvious."

"You think everyone knows?" Abby asked in a worried tone with such a subtle hint of sarcasm Susan had to think twice before speaking.

Tilting her head slightly to the side, she placed her pen on top of the untouched charts which lay before her. "Abby."

"All right, alright. What do I do though?" she asked genuinely confused.

"Tell him exactly how you feel, and soon!"

"But I can't it, it wouldn't, I couldn't it just..." she trailed off.

Susan jumped in swiftly. "But nothing, after this shift you will tell him, got it?"

"Susan this shift finishes at 7 Am. I probably won't even see Carter."

Susan shrugged; she didn't care about the minor details she was just trying to make a point. From then on in she and Abby just joked on and got through the night without Carter's name being mentioned again.


	11. Giving In To Temptation

Bounding brightly through into the kitchen Abby slammed the back door behind her but stopped dead in her tracks. Sat at breakfast bar only a few feet away from her was a long-legged, bronzed female with curly, peroxide blonde hair, opposite John Carter, the man supposedly in love with her.

Feeling flushed Abby flustered around for a moment before finally speaking, emphasising all her words with over the top hand gestures. "Erm, don't mind me, I'll be up in my room. See you later Carter." Nervously fiddling with her hair she scurried away, suddenly self conscious, wishing she could look that perfect that early in the morning.

Carter called after her, a note of despair mixed with anger in his voice.

"Abby..."

Sighing Carter gave up, she made it pretty clear she wanted nothing to do with him so why should he bother. He had to move on so spending the night with some random girl he met last night seemed the simplest way to do it.

Feeling extremely awkward, Crystal, the random girl, made her excuses and promptly left. Deciding to leave Abby up to her own devices Carter headed out into the yard to shoot some hoops, seeing as it was his day off today.

With every attempt the ball clashed off the metal rim, sending an echoing ringing through his head. The consuming sound prevented him from hearing

Abby creep out side and sit near by watching. Feeling a presence watching over him he threw the ball whilst turning, ironically it was the first time he scored that morning. His eyes came in contact with hers, a passionate anger flaring up in them.

"See Carter that's what I meant! I can't be the girl for you. You want some stunning beauty to hang off your arm at Carter family parties without asking you to help her to let the air out of someone's tyres, someone without problems, some one who wouldn't care if you hurt her! I can't be that girl

Carter and you proved it. You say you are still in love with me but you spend the might with some air head bimbo... you just proved my point completely!"

Abby yelled wishing she wasn't so angry, she didn't understand, if she really didn't care why did it bother her so much.

"If you don't care then why does it bother you so much?" asked Carter as if reading her mind. "Do you seriously think I care about her? Your right, she is some air-head bimbo and that's not what I want! That was my stupid way of trying to get over you! But now I realise I'll never be able to get over you, it's impossible! Believe it or not I want some one with compassion, someone who cares about things that matter, someone who understands what it is like to go into work everyday and not know what to expect. I want some one who is tender, loving, caring, compassionate, and intellectual. No I don't want someone like that I need someone like that. I need you Abby, and I know what you life is like I've been there through the past ten years of it. I love you Abby." He paused sighing slightly as he turned away from her. "But what's the point, you deserve better than some ex-addict who has put you through hell."

Not knowing what she was doing Abby walked over to him and put a tentative hand on his shoulder. The words came tumbling out of her mouth; she didn't stop to think she just released all the emotion that had been bottled up inside her in a jumble of tumbling words. "The point is you not the one who put me through hell, I did. You're the one who went through it with me, no matter what you were there Carter I could always count on you, and maybe I took that for granted. I never told you I found the ring, did I? That night when you booked the entire restaurant but never went through with it, well I guess it was down to my mother somehow, or something I said, but I found it nestled in your jacket pocket. Strange to think back. I can't deny it any longer. We've been through it all and come out the other side, so now maybe it's time to give it a fighting chance... I'm not even making sense any more am I?"

"Nope." He answered slightly bemused still not daring to look at her, this was to him as confusing as the chaos theory was to Abby.

"Well let me put it this way. Despite it all, I love you John Carter."

Shocked Carter spun round to face her fully, standing there in front of him so innocently was the woman he was determined to spend the rest of his life with. Their faces were only millimetres apart, slowly their lips brushed against each other which turned into a tender, loving kiss. A kiss of long awaited love.

A kiss that had fought temptation and won.

No matter what temptation is it can ruin lives unless you put a stop to it. Fight temptation and it will all work out in the end, but remember not all temptation is bad...


End file.
